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Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Here we go again :(

god, where do I start....

for the last month or so I have felt like I have been drowning.... I cant seem to get on top of anything. My house is a absolute mess and I don't seem to have the drive to get off my fat arse and do anything... I find myself sitting on the couch with the laptop and that is as far as I seem to get... I would be so embarrassed if someone walked into my house right now

I have been Cranky with everyone :( Craig has been away alot lately, and I am sure he is glad that he is... it isn't a happy house. And I don't know if that is why I have been like I am.

My only good thing in my life at the moment has been my scrapping... but then again it is all or nothing.  I find myself not leaving my scrap desk for days or I don't want to go any where near it... does this make sense??? I think I hide myself away in there away from everything..

I went to my doctor a week or so ago to get a repeat on my meds and he asked how i was going.... and I said "GREAT"  and I think on that day I probably was. if I went to see him today I certainly wouldn't say that.

I have been laying in bed for hours stressing that nothing is getting down around here and how the hell I was going to fix it..... I am sure that my kids are suffering from this all.... even cooking tea has been a battle...I used to love cooking for my family, and would spend hours planning and preparing meals for them... now it is just a slap up meal..what you get is what you get :(

I don't know if it is the crappy weather that we have been having that has triggered it off again... I do know that it has been a trigger before...

What I do know is that with me recognising that I am struggling is usually the first step and I am hoping that from today onwards will be a step FORWARD for me!

I want to thank all of my gorgeous online friends, some that I have met in real life and others that I cant wait to meet, for all the love and support that you all give me.  I don't know where I would be without you all

Love Donna xx

8 comments:

Peta said...

Where do you start? - one step at a time....
Set your self a daily goal - a very small one.... and get it done... it could be just tidy & clean the loungeroom, or make dinner before lunch....
set a timer for your computer time and when it buzzes go and do someting else for 20mins....
and don't roll your eyes at me young lady - i know you can do it!!!!!
Just trying to help babe :) - you know im here....
and guess what ------ 16 more sleeps!!!! WOOHOO!!!

donna said...

I cant wait Peta!
Thanks for your kind words, i have taken it all on board
xxxooo

Lisa K said...

Oh babe - Ijust wanna give you a big hug. I know where you are coming from. Iam feeling very mood affected by the weather as well...and Shane is away so that can make it worse and sometimes better! Im always here is you want someone to talk to!
Love ya!!

Barb said...

oh hang in there Donna, you are very brave to put it into words. and in 16 more sleeps
i'll have a bourbon or two with you.

donna said...

I will hold you to that Barb! xxx

Samantha Hauzer said...

The crappy weather makes me feel a bit blah and unmotivated too. I hope you feel better soon {{hugs}}

Kate said...

hang in there gorgeous girl. you have heaps of support around you :) good on you for venting too, thats the hardest part sometimes!! <3

Kirsty said...

Oh Donna honey, I can SO relate to this. (((Hugs))) Depression SUCKS. Like really really.
You are awesome. You will come out of this. Just be kind to yourself!

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